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A Gentle Perspective on the Cry It Out Method: Embracing the Sleep Training Journey

Sleeping baby from Cry It Out Method


Hey there, mama! Sleep deprivation is no joke, especially when you have a little one who’s struggling to settle down for a peaceful night’s sleep. We’ve all been there, feeling exhausted and unsure of how to help our babies establish healthy sleep habits. Today, we’re diving into the cry it out method of sleep training. While this approach may seem a bit daunting at first, we want to explore it from a warm and supportive perspective, offering insight, understanding, and encouragement every step of the way. Remember, mama, you’re not alone on this journey, and we’re here to support you!

Understanding the Cry It Out Method: Debunking the Misconceptions

Let’s start by shedding some light on the cry-it-out method. The idea of letting your baby cry might tug at your heartstrings, but there’s more to it than meets the eye. Contrary to popular belief, the cry it out method aims to teach your little one an essential life skill: how to self-soothe and fall asleep independently.

Now, mama, we get it. The thought of leaving your baby to cry may seem counterintuitive and even distressing. But here’s the thing – the cry-it-out method doesn’t mean abandoning your baby and ignoring their needs. It’s all about finding a balance between teaching your baby to self-soothe and providing them with the love and support they need.

How It Works: Step-by-Step Guide


Let’s dive into the practical steps of implementing the cry-it-out method in a supportive and gentle manner. Remember that every baby is unique, so feel free to adapt these steps to suit your little one’s needs and your own comfort level.

  1. Create a Soothing Bedtime Routine:
    Begin by establishing a consistent and calming bedtime routine. This routine should signal to your baby that it’s time to wind down and prepare for sleep. Consider activities like a warm bath, gentle massage, and reading a bedtime story. This routine will help your little one transition into a peaceful state before bedtime.
  2. Set the Stage for Sleep:
    Create a comfortable sleep environment, mama. Ensure that the room is dark, quiet, and at a soothing temperature. A sleep-friendly environment sets the stage for your baby to settle down and sleep soundly.
  3. Establish a Pre-Sleep Ritual:
    Before laying your baby down to sleep, try incorporating a pre-sleep ritual. This gentle practice, such as singing a lullaby, humming a familiar tune, or offering a cuddle, will help your baby relax and feel secure.
  4. Place Your Baby Down Drowsy but Awake:
    This step is crucial, mama. It’s time to lay your baby down in their crib or bassinet when they are drowsy but still awake. This encourages them to learn the skill of falling asleep on their own, which is the ultimate goal of the cry it out method.
  5. Expect some protest. Your baby will probably cry, maybe even a fair bit. However long you leave baby by herself, it’ll likely feel much longer.
  6. Don’t respond. Here’s where the going gets tough: The full-on cry it out method calls for you to let baby cry, without comfort from you, until she gets tired and falls asleep.

You’re going to have a rough couple of nights (or even a week or more) as you listen to your baby wail. But remember this as you’re sitting outside her door, thinking you’re the worst parent in the world: Crying won’t hurt your baby in the long run. Ultimately you’re doing your baby a favor by helping her learn to fall asleep on her own.

How Long Should You Let Baby Cry it Out?

So, you’re curious about how long you should let your baby cry it out when using the CIO method? It’s a common question, and I’m here to offer some insight and reassurance.

The goal of the cry it out method is to help your little one learn how to self-soothe and fall asleep independently. In the beginning, it might feel tough, and you may find yourself needing to let your baby cry it out for around 45 minutes to an hour before they finally drift off to sleep. But remember, every baby is different, so there’s no one-size-fits-all answer here.

Here’s the encouraging news, mama: most parents who try the cry it out method find that their babies cry less and less over the first three nights. By the time you reach the fourth to seventh nights, you’ll notice a significant reduction in their crying, as they start to embrace this newfound skill.

As time goes on, you may find that your baby simply fusses or screeches in complaint for just a couple of minutes – or even better, they may quietly fall asleep without much fuss. Isn’t that amazing?

Please keep in mind, mama, that this method is not about ignoring your baby’s needs or leaving them to fend for themselves. It’s about teaching them the valuable skill of self-soothing, which can lead to more peaceful nights for the whole family.

Remember, you’re the expert when it comes to your baby. Trust your instincts and adjust the method to suit both your baby’s needs and your own comfort level. And if you ever need more advice or support, don’t hesitate to reach out to fellow mamas or professionals who can offer guidance tailored to your unique situation.

When to Begin the Cry it Out Method

Let’s chat about when might be a good time to consider the cry it out method for your baby. It’s important to remember that every baby is unique, and your comfort with the method plays a big role too. So, let’s dive in!

Typically, babies are developmentally ready for sleep training around 4 to 6 months old. By the time they hit about 5 to 6 months, they’ve usually reached a point where they can sleep through the night without needing to eat. That’s when you might want to give the cry it out method a try.

Now, here’s something to keep in mind, mama. If your little one is a bit older, they may have already gotten quite clever at getting your attention during those nighttime wake-ups. They’ve discovered that their tears can result in extra cuddles, feeding sessions, or even a cozy visit to your bed. Sneaky, right?

If that sounds familiar, sleep training will require some adjustments for both baby and you. But here’s the good news: once your baby understands that you won’t be easily persuaded, most of them give up the crying game quite quickly. Within just three or four nights, or sometimes a little longer, they realize that crying isn’t getting them what they want.

Should you use cry it out for naps?

When it comes to using the cry it out method at nighttime, it’s a good idea to apply it to naptimes too. Consistency is key here, so let’s talk about how to approach naptime with the CIO method.

Now, I know that your baby’s naps might be on the shorter side, lasting around 30 minutes or so. In those cases, it’s totally understandable if you want to limit how long you let your little one cry before considering other sleep-training approaches or even deciding to skip the nap for that day. You know your baby best, mama, so trust your instincts and do what feels right for both of you.

Here’s some encouraging news: after about a week of nighttime sleep training, naptimes should start to get easier. Your baby will begin to understand that being placed in their crib means it’s snooze time. Plus, they’ll also start discovering their own special self-soothing techniques, like using a pacifier, thumb-sucking, or other comforting methods that help them summon the sandman.

What’s the Difference Between the Cry it Out Method and the Ferber Method?

Here’s the deal: the CIO method involves putting your baby to bed and letting them cry until they fall asleep, without any comfort or assistance from you. It can be a bit tough to listen to those tears, I know.

Now, the Ferber method takes a different approach, and it’s known as “graduated extinction” sleep training. Here’s how it works. You allow your baby to cry for a few minutes, and then you check in to quietly comfort them for a minute or two. Gradually, you increase the amount of time you leave them on their own until they eventually drift off to sleep.

This method was outlined by Dr. Richard Ferber in his book, “Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems,” back in 1985. Dr. Ferber is a sleep expert and the former director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Boston Children’s Hospital.

When to Stop Letting Baby Cry it Out

Now, first things first – safety is always our top priority. Make sure your baby is in a safe sleep environment, like her crib with a firm mattress, without any pillows, bumpers, blankets, or stuffed animals. Once you’ve got that covered, and you know your baby isn’t hungry, wet, or sick, it’s okay to give her some time to settle down on her own.

If you find yourself feeling concerned about your baby’s safety, it’s absolutely okay to take a peek to ease your worries. Just remember to keep any interaction brief, so your little one can get back to the business of falling asleep. And hey, if it helps, a video baby monitor can be quite reassuring.

Now, patience is key here, mama. Give the cry it out (CIO) method enough time to work its magic. Stick to a consistent routine and give it a full two weeks before deciding if it’s the right fit for you and your baby. These things take time, so don’t lose hope just yet.

It’s important to keep in mind that big changes or stresses in your baby’s life, like a move, new sibling, new babysitter, or even an ear infection, can impact the effectiveness of sleep training. So, if you’re experiencing a major life event, it might be best to wait a few weeks until things have settled down before attempting sleep training again.

It’s also worth mentioning, mama, that cry it out isn’t for everyone, and it may not work for every baby. And you know what? That’s perfectly okay. We all have different approaches and what matters most is finding what works best for you and your precious little one.

If the idea of cry it out makes you extremely uncomfortable, remember that it’s not the only option out there for sleep training. You might want to explore other methods, like the Ferber method of graduated extinction, to see if it resonates more with you and your baby.

What To Do if Your Baby Spits up or Throws up When Crying it Out

Let’s talk about something that can happen during sleep training that might leave you feeling a little concerned: when your baby spits up or throws up. Rest assured, it’s actually quite common and usually nothing to worry about. However, I understand it can be upsetting and stressful for both you and your little one.

Sometimes, when babies get really worked up from the cry it out method, their tiny tummies can react by spitting up or throwing up. Now, while it might not be a health concern, it could be a sign that your baby is feeling unwell or that the cry it out method might not be the right fit for your family.

If your baby spits up or throws up repeatedly during sleep training, it’s a good idea to reach out to your pediatrician. They can help rule out any underlying medical issues and offer guidance on whether you should continue with the method or explore other approaches. Remember, mama, your pediatrician is a valuable resource and can provide the expert advice you need.

In most cases, if there isn’t a medical reason behind the spit-up or throw-up, it typically subsides after a few nights at most. It’s one of those temporary hurdles that you’ll overcome, and you’ll be amazed at how resilient your little one is.

However, if the vomiting persists or you simply don’t feel comfortable continuing with sleep training, listen to your instincts, mama. It’s okay to take a break for a few weeks and regroup. During this time, it’s a good idea to consult with your doctor to discuss alternative methods that might be better suited for your little one’s needs.

Now, when it comes to feeding your baby before bedtime, try to avoid doing so too close to sleep time. Feeding right before bed can disrupt sleep, regardless of the sleep training method you’re using. Instead, consider nursing or bottle-feeding your baby during the first part of her bedtime routine rather than as the last step.

Dealing with Emotional Challenges: Both for You and Baby

Mama, we want to acknowledge that the cry it out method can be emotionally challenging for both you and your baby. As you hear your baby cry, it’s natural to feel a mix of emotions, including guilt and sadness. Remember, your emotions are valid, and it’s essential to practice self-care and self-love during this process.

For your baby, experiencing some tears during the initial stages is normal. But don’t worry, mama, your love and comfort will always be there for them. Stay consistent

Seeking Professional Advice: When to Reach Out

Mama, we’re here to support you every step of the way, but sometimes, it helps to reach out for professional guidance. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or the cry it out method doesn’t seem to be working after a couple of weeks, don’t hesitate to consult your baby’s doctor or a pediatric sleep specialist. They can provide personalized advice and reassurance during this journey.

Celebrating Your Success

Mama, congratulations! By considering the cry it out method, you’re paving the way for your little one to develop healthy sleep habits. Remember, every parent’s journey is unique, and it’s okay to take breaks or adjust methods based on your baby’s needs. The key is to approach sleep training with warmth, empathy, and patience.

You’re doing an incredible job, mama! As you embark on this journey, know that you’re not alone. Reach out to fellow mamas, join support groups, and surround yourself with a community that understands and uplifts you. Sleep training may have its challenges, but in the end, it’s all about helping your little one develop the valuable life skill of falling asleep on their own.

You’ve got this, mama! Sweet dreams and restful nights are just around the corner. Keep shining bright, and remember to always prioritize self-care and self-love. We believe in you, and we’re here to cheer you on along this beautiful journey of motherhood!

If the Cry it Out Method is not your style read about other sleep training methods below!

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